IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet and are using the Internet to socialise with others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for childrean. Discuss problems and solution.

#children #access #internet #socialise #situations #childrean
Parents
 often fail to keep a record of the things their
children
 do. One of the things that
children
 do without knowing the consequences is, leaking information to anonymous people on the web. In
this
 essay, I am going to share my opinion about
kids
 having access to the
internet
.
Firstly
, phones and computers are being introduced to
children
 at a very small age. Since they think
that is
 fun, they get addicted to the
internet
 very fastly. The
internet
 is filled with many scammers and frauds.
Children
 tend to get attracted towards video games and social
media
 platforms like Facebook and Instagram.
For example
, when they get addicted to any online games, they want to buy something in the game and to do that they put their parent's bank details in the game. Because of doing
this
, huge amounts of money can be lost and that family will face a huge loss. Another example is that, when
kids
 go through social
media
 platforms, they get to be online friends with many unknown people and they can even chat with those folk online and
this
 is where they get stuck. There are some people on social
media
 who have accounts with fake identities and they bait young
children
 to scam them.
First
, they gain trust and
then
 they pull out the information from the
kids
. To stop these things from happening,
parents
 should supervise their
children
's access to the
internet
. They should be strict about
this
 and they should set a time limit for using the
internet
.
Parents
 should not purchase personal phones and laptops for their
kids
. They should not let their
kids
 play too many video games and should advise them to avoid social
media
 at any cost. Getting addicted to the
internet
 can spoil the mental health of
kids
 too. To conclude
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, I would like to say that
kids
 should have only limited access to the
internet
 and by taking the necessary precautions mentioned above, anyone can avoid information breaches. If
parents
 keep neglecting their
kids
, they will definitely face major losses.
Submitted by Nihal Reddy Seelam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: