IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people argue that the average age of drinking should be above the current set age. Others think it should be above the individual and shouldn’t be based on the factor of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #age #shouldn’t #factor
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There is a conflicting view among
people
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 on the average
age
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 of drinking. Several believe that it ought to be above the current set
age
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 which is 21
years
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, whilst others think that it should be up to an individual and
age
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 shouldn’t be the deciding factor.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons for both views, which are the impact of drinking on one’s
career
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 and health and the lack of self-discipline in many youngsters. The current set
age
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 for drinking
alcohol
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 is 21
years
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, which is a very important duration of time to build a
career
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. Actions taken during
this
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age
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 contribute a lot towards building a successful
career
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.
Alcohol
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 or any sort of addictive substance interrupts a lot
while
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 doing something that requires continuous hard work and self-discipline. It is
therefore
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 agreed that
alcohol
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 consumption should be legalized for the
age
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 of
people
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 above 25
years
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that most of the individuals have completed the initial hard work required for building a successful
career
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 by
this
Linking Words
age
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.
However
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, others contend against
this
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 viewpoint and argue that individuals should have the right to decide when they should start drinking, and
age
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 shouldn’t be given the preference
while
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 making that decision.
Moreover
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, they
also
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 advocate that
people
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 are rational and, they can decide what is good for them.
On the contrary
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, as per the survey conducted by the Harvard Research Center, only 20% of youngsters actually put effort into avoiding things that give them temporary gratification despite knowing their future ramifications. In conclusion, the drinking
age
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 should be above the current set
age
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 of 21
years
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 because steps taken towards the future
career
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 goal are paramount for success, and
alcohol
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 prevents youngsters from putting required hard work for the same.
Additionally
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, not all
people
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 are disciplined enough to abstain from addictive substances despite knowing their harmful effects.
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific point related to the topic. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Complete Response
To fully address the task, ensure you discuss both viewpoints on the issue and provide your own opinion. Your response should be balanced, covering all aspects of the question.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas by expanding on them with more detail and reasoning. This helps the reader understand your points better and makes your essay more comprehensive.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to back up your points. This adds credibility to your argument and demonstrates a deeper level of understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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