Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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At the present time, the public
people
tend to learn many
skills
at their own level like students or co-workers. At the same time, they face difficulties from higher levels ,
for example
, teachers or supervisors. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
view.
Therefore
, in
this
essay, I will explore certain reasons why
people
disagree with
this
trend and
then
support the idea. On the one hand, educational resource plays the foremost role in learning new
skills
. The majority reason is that knowledge,
people
who have acknowledged, can be leaders among colleagues.
for example
, my manager in school has been working a variety of jobs for over 26 years,
thus
acquiring many awareness and corporate
skills
to get a high level of work. To demonstrate more, the community would like to complete their highest studying to combine
skills
and knowledge.
Thus
,
people
provide several expertise. The Second benefit reason is that ability, there are members who trust their
skills
and need to improve.
For instance
, my friend who teaches math, orders the learning from members of administration.
Hence
, to awareness some facilities in their job. At the
last
, she can adapt to any job. A clear example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is each subject
combines
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
with other subjects which collects a range of acknowledging. In conclusion, I strongly believe
people
who can adapt to any site without seeing a dropping level, accomplish different
skills
and expertise.
Whereas
, they should put stricter control on working hours without feeling pressured.
Therefore
,
this
trend is the chance to interact with different ages of the community.
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task achievement
It's important to refine the thesis statement to clearly reflect your stance and reason. This helps the reader understand what the essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your points more clearly with distinct paragraphs each covering a single main idea. This helps in presenting a structured logical argument.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples that straightforwardly illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Try to work on sentence structure and grammar. Minor errors can sometimes obscure the meaning and clarity of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively reiterates the main view and summarizes the supporting points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, indicating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer learning
  • comfortable environment
  • open communication
  • collaboration
  • shared experiences
  • relevant examples
  • camaraderie
  • motivation
  • terminology
  • wealth of experience
  • expertise
  • broader perspective
  • structured learning
  • clear objectives
  • monitor progress
  • valuable insights
  • mentorship
  • professional development
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