The most important reasons for a young person to attend a university is to increase the amount of money that he or she will earn in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days,
a
Correct article usage
apply
yong
Correct your spelling
young
adults
makes a number of income the main Change the noun form
adult
factors
in choosing a major in a university. Of course, it is important to think about the future and aim to be wealthy. Fix the agreement mistake
factor
However
, I do not think it has to be the main reason Linking Words
in
deciding Change preposition
for
major
, and Correct article usage
a major
therefore
I strongly disagree with it.
Linking Words
First
of all, the list of courses that offer Linking Words
big
Add an article
a big
opportunity
to get Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
a
nice Correct article usage
apply
paid
is quite limited. Replace the word
pay
For example
, Linking Words
the
occupation like Correct article usage
apply
nurse
, data scientist, doctor etc Add an article
a nurse
the nurse
are
the most Change the verb form
is
favorite
courses because those wages are above the average. Because of that, the students Change the spelling
favourite
whom
Change the pronoun
who
interest
in other Add an article
an interest
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
not
as much as those Add a missing verb
are not
field
of Fix the agreement mistake
fields
studies
. Meanwhile, if people Fix the agreement mistake
study
willing
to take Add a missing verb
are willing
a
research more about Remove the article
apply
other
Change the wording
another career path
other career paths
career
path, they will find Use synonyms
much
more successful Correct quantifier usage
many
perons
working as a writer, a photographer, a pianist and others. That may happen because they work and choose their Correct your spelling
person
persons
career
regarding Use synonyms
to
their passion. Even if others give a huge offer, it is not affected Remove the preposition
apply
to
them.
Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, the amount of an employee's fee Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
totaly
depends on Correct your spelling
totally
he
or Correct pronoun usage
his
she
Correct pronoun usage
her
competenies
and tangible skills. Correct your spelling
competencies
In other words
, you will get a good salary as long as you Linking Words
fulfill
the company's Change the spelling
fulfil
requirement
. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
For instance
, in my country Linking Words
not
every medical Add the comma(s)
,not
students
build Change to a singular noun
student
their
Change the word
a
career
in the health field. Use synonyms
Otherwise
, they had started their small business and Linking Words
became
an entrepreneur. Wrong verb form
become
Although
Linking Words
,
the money they already spent in Remove the comma
apply
the
medical school was a lot, they had taken a new step and followed Correct article usage
apply
other
Change the wording
another career possibility
other career possibilities
career
possibility. Use synonyms
Finally
, they gained their own tangible skills and be that person who Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
high quality
competencies in Add a hyphen
high-quality
business
field.
In a conclusion, setting aside the number of our bank account, people Add an article
the business
has
a right to study Change the verb form
have
align
based on their basic talent and potential. As an Correct word choice
and align
adolesent
who has Correct your spelling
adolescent
a
freedom to explore various Correct article usage
the
experience
, we have to believe that our passion is Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
come
Change the verb form
to come
coming
first
. I believe the high amount of income will match our high value.Linking Words
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