More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that globalization has brought many creative solutions to the most critical problems. One of these issues is the vitality of the physical presence of individuals in their workplace.
While
it is a commonly held belief that practising one's occupation is not necessarily to be within the office walls, there is an argument that opposes it. There are views on both sides,
however
, which we will discuss here. On the one hand, Providing shelter and food for our own family without having to leave home is quite a tempting idea.
Furthermore
, being paid for sitting around taking care of the house and children and not neglecting our profession's duties has so many underestimated advantages.
To begin
with, employees do not have to wake up early, catch the early bus, and be caught up in a traffic jam.
Moreover
, they will have the freedom to create their own professional environment without having to tolerate their noisy boss and their chatty colleagues.
On the other hand
, People will face tremendous pressure and stress if they work and live in the same place. Mothers,
for example
, would be swarmed by their family members' inquiries.
Consequently
, their family will take their presence for granted and will hardly show any understanding of their obligations.
That is
to say, individuals might be repeatedly distracted by many factors and
this
could badly affect their job performance and family relations. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that having distinct surroundings for practice and living is a key element to ensure the success of both.
Submitted by the.majesty2011 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This can help strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Work on improving the explanation of opposing viewpoints to create a more balanced discussion. Acknowledging and refuting counter-arguments can improve the depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. This will help reinforce the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitioning phrases to maintain reader interest and clarity.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points discussed.
logical structure
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.
supported main points
The main points are generally supported with relevant arguments, which adds to the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • overhead costs
  • commuting
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • domestic responsibilities
  • work attire
  • financial savings
  • blurred boundaries
  • mental health
  • social interaction
  • downsizing
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