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Band 6

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
There is so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
information
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet currently. It can possibly people easily
access
Wrong verb form
accessed
show examples
 wherever and whenever they want to.
However
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
challenges
Replace the word
challenging
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us to maintain
this
 rapid
information
 technology development. Yet, it is not enough for parents to exchange
school
 existence. I do believe that
school
 have their own small society simulation to face the
student
 in real
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 when they grow up. Especially for
children
 whose in the middle of the golden stage of life.
First
 of all, We will learn basic knowledge in
anyform
Correct your spelling
any form
 kind of educational state
such
 as
school
, course, training place, etc. Those institutions provide the
student
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 well
known
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 environment cognitive. The
student
 will shape their Intelligent Quotient (IQ) for
this
 step. For the
children
self
, their examines will about stimulate their surrounding mini
problem
 in exercise form. Following that, the
student
 will interact with each other. Which means, they become a small society provided by the
school
. Before they are ready to face the real world as a
problem
 solver, or specifically for their
self
problem
, the education institute makes sure to have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 rule to regulate achievement and punishment for them.
This
 simulation law
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 for upskilling people about responsibility and consequences.
Hence
, It did not found in any form of retrieval
information
 because society should face
directly
Correct pronoun usage
it directly
show examples
 and
children
 will imitate
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 the older. In conclusion, the
information
 on the internet provides us to have materials for
self study
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
. Yet, it did not use to encourage and enhance
children
's education by parent
self
. Meanwhile, the
school
 is providing students
In
Change preposition
With
show examples
 order to train them for
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
critical thinking and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 using their Emotional Quotient (EQ).
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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