IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
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There is so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
information
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet currently. It can possibly people easily
access
Wrong verb form
accessed
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 wherever and whenever they want to.
However
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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challenges
Replace the word
challenging
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for
Change preposition
apply
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us to maintain
this
Linking Words
 rapid
information
Use synonyms
 technology development. Yet, it is not enough for parents to exchange
school
Use synonyms
 existence. I do believe that
school
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 have their own small society simulation to face the
student
Use synonyms
 in real
live
Replace the word
life
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 when they grow up. Especially for
children
Use synonyms
 whose in the middle of the golden stage of life.
First
Linking Words
 of all, We will learn basic knowledge in
anyform
Correct your spelling
any form
 kind of educational state
such
Linking Words
 as
school
Use synonyms
, course, training place, etc. Those institutions provide the
student
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
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 well
known
Replace the word
knowledge
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their
Change preposition
of their
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 environment cognitive. The
student
Use synonyms
 will shape their Intelligent Quotient (IQ) for
this
Linking Words
 step. For the
children
Use synonyms
self
Use synonyms
, their examines will about stimulate their surrounding mini
problem
Use synonyms
 in exercise form. Following that, the
student
Use synonyms
 will interact with each other. Which means, they become a small society provided by the
school
Use synonyms
. Before they are ready to face the real world as a
problem
Use synonyms
 solver, or specifically for their
self
Use synonyms
problem
Use synonyms
, the education institute makes sure to have
a
Change the article
the
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 rule to regulate achievement and punishment for them.
This
Linking Words
 simulation law
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 for upskilling people about responsibility and consequences.
Hence
Linking Words
, It did not found in any form of retrieval
information
Use synonyms
 because society should face
directly
Correct pronoun usage
it directly
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 and
children
Use synonyms
 will imitate
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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 the older. In conclusion, the
information
Use synonyms
 on the internet provides us to have materials for
Use synonyms
self study
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
. Yet, it did not use to encourage and enhance
children
Use synonyms
's education by parent
self
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the
school
Use synonyms
 is providing students
In
Change preposition
With
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 order to train them for
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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critical thinking and
Use synonyms
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 using their Emotional Quotient (EQ).
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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