When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

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As International
media
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companies expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of some
media
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programs
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(
such
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as TV shows,
movies
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, and fashion shows) is causing worldwide concern. Many
people
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have strong views toward
this
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trend. In my opinion, international
media
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is closely linked to cultural globalization and cultural homogeneity. The dominance of international
media
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is a sign of Western cultural imperialism and has the potential to thwart cultural
diversity
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. It is not a secret that international
media
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is owned and operated by a handful of giant corporations,
such
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as Time Warner. They control large sectors of the
media
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owners will cause a proportional reduction in the variety of
programs
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broadcasted.
For example
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, painting, music and
movies
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accessible in the
media
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have a small number of genres, imposing restraints on one’s knowledge of artworks of different cultural backgrounds.
In addition
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to seizing control over those creative industries, global entertainment companies affect cultural
diversity
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by reshaping the perceptions, beliefs and norms of ordinary citizens in different countries. Most of the cultural values and ideals promoted by the leading mainstream
media
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are of
American
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Origin.
American
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culture values individuality, and maximization of one’s benefits and material wealth, rather than communal
life
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and family solidarity, the values and norms previously treasured in many Asian countries. Unfortunately, many Asian
people
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now imitate
American
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people
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, causing the alteration of their perceptions of family.
This
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radical change can be attributed to those
movies
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and TV
programs
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that portray the success of
American
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individuals or corporations. The loss of
media
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diversity
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is
also
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responsible for
people
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’s narrow sense of ways of
life
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. The ruling class of many countries speaks English, favours Western food, wears Western-style jackets and even prefers Western weddings. Young
people
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are captivated by
American
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basketball and some even daubing the names of NBA stars on their school sweatsuits. All these transformations in
life
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are the result of the audience’s exposure to Hollywood
movies
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, TV shows and sports reports. The loss of
media
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diversity
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will lead to the degradation of culture and to minimization of cultural
diversity
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. It is a worrying trend, as
people
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need cultural
diversity
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to preserve and pass on their valuable heritage to future generations, including lifestyle. As shown above, international
media
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, controlled by a handful of transnational
media
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corporations, is exporting Western culture worldwide and putting many indigenous cultures at
the
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apply
show examples
risk of extinction. The uniformity of
media
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programs
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has led to that of artworks, norms and ways of
life
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wherever international
media
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goes.
Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the impact of international media on cultural diversity. However, you could further improve by providing more concrete examples and elaborating on how specific media practices erode cultural diversity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay generally flows well, a clearer transition between paragraphs would help improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your arguments by ensuring each paragraph builds on the previous one. This can be achieved by introducing each new idea in relation to the existing discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly framing the discussion on the impact of international media on cultural diversity.
supported main points
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, such as the influence of American culture on Asian values and norms.
complete response
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing multiple aspects of how international media affects cultural diversity.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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