When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

As International
media
companies expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of some
media
programs
(
such
as TV shows,
movies
, and fashion shows) is causing worldwide concern. Many
people
have strong views toward
this
trend. In my opinion, international
media
is closely linked to cultural globalization and cultural homogeneity. The dominance of international
media
is a sign of Western cultural imperialism and has the potential to thwart cultural
diversity
. It is not a secret that international
media
is owned and operated by a handful of giant corporations,
such
as Time Warner. They control large sectors of the
media
owners will cause a proportional reduction in the variety of
programs
broadcasted.
For example
, painting, music and
movies
accessible in the
media
have a small number of genres, imposing restraints on one’s knowledge of artworks of different cultural backgrounds.
In addition
to seizing control over those creative industries, global entertainment companies affect cultural
diversity
by reshaping the perceptions, beliefs and norms of ordinary citizens in different countries. Most of the cultural values and ideals promoted by the leading mainstream
media
are of
American
Origin.
American
culture values individuality, and maximization of one’s benefits and material wealth, rather than communal
life
and family solidarity, the values and norms previously treasured in many Asian countries. Unfortunately, many Asian
people
now imitate
American
people
, causing the alteration of their perceptions of family.
This
radical change can be attributed to those
movies
and TV
programs
that portray the success of
American
individuals or corporations. The loss of
media
diversity
is
also
responsible for
people
’s narrow sense of ways of
life
. The ruling class of many countries speaks English, favours Western food, wears Western-style jackets and even prefers Western weddings. Young
people
are captivated by
American
basketball and some even daubing the names of NBA stars on their school sweatsuits. All these transformations in
life
are the result of the audience’s exposure to Hollywood
movies
, TV shows and sports reports. The loss of
media
diversity
will lead to the degradation of culture and to minimization of cultural
diversity
. It is a worrying trend, as
people
need cultural
diversity
to preserve and pass on their valuable heritage to future generations, including lifestyle. As shown above, international
media
, controlled by a handful of transnational
media
corporations, is exporting Western culture worldwide and putting many indigenous cultures at
the
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risk of extinction. The uniformity of
media
programs
has led to that of artworks, norms and ways of
life
wherever international
media
goes.
Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the impact of international media on cultural diversity. However, you could further improve by providing more concrete examples and elaborating on how specific media practices erode cultural diversity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay generally flows well, a clearer transition between paragraphs would help improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your arguments by ensuring each paragraph builds on the previous one. This can be achieved by introducing each new idea in relation to the existing discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly framing the discussion on the impact of international media on cultural diversity.
supported main points
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, such as the influence of American culture on Asian values and norms.
complete response
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing multiple aspects of how international media affects cultural diversity.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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