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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor
In
this
 passage, we are going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the several factors that motivate
people
 to stay in the workforce and
is
Correct word choice
whether is
show examples
money
 the most important reason or factor for
this
. In my opinion, yes
money
 is the most important factor for many
people
 to stay in the workforce. The working personnel is the backbone of any nation or company, the smooth working of the organization depends on the wellness and contentment of the labour pool. There are various reasons that motivate the public to work in an industry some of the reasons can be the security of getting a paycheck at the end of every month which is unlikely if you own a
business
 or work as a freelancer,
business
 owners can bare a loss in their
business
 which many
people
 are not ready to accept. Having a regular salary paid monthly gives the common man a sense of stability and safety in their life. While
money
 is the critical aspect for being a part of the labour pool many
people
 are programmed from their childhood to get a degree and secure a
good paying
Add a hyphen
good-paying
show examples
 job in a reputed company, the idea of
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
 a
business
 or a startup is generally frowned upon because of the instability and persistence it requires to establish and run a successful
business
. What we conclude from
this
 is that
money
 plays a crucial role for the public to join the workforce many
people
 are ready to work under someone and have a secure job with
constant
Add an article
a constant
the constant
show examples
 flow of
money
 with a stable life.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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