More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought that one of the best
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
in order to inhibit
Add the comma(s)
, in order to inhibit people gain too fat in their body,
people
gain too fat
in their Correct quantifier usage
much fat
body
is to enhance the Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
cost
of lardy foods
in marketplaces. In my perspective, I compeletly
agree with Correct your spelling
completely
this
settling and reckon that enlarging fatty diet cost
will be a perfect completion.
Firstly
, the huge amount of fast-food restaurants that sell their product with
affordable Change preposition
at
price
so that Fix the agreement mistake
prices
people
more
interested to buy their dishes. In fact, Add a missing verb
are more
this
kind of food contain
Change the verb form
contains
large
amount of fat. Even though most Change the article
a large
of
Change preposition
apply
people
know about Add an article
the people
this
reality, it is not going to make them to
stop Change the verb form
apply
buy
lardy diets because of the fascinating deals in terms of the Wrong verb form
buying
cost
. In addition
, most of their customers are from
students with Change preposition
apply
limited
monthly allowance so Add an article
a limited
this
kind of food is preferable for them. So it is one of the reason
why escalating its Change to a plural noun
reasons
cost
is reliable.
Secondly
, the consumers of fattening foods
are those who not
concern about healthy lifestyles and consider food based on its appearance. Add a missing verb
are not
Nevertheless
sweet Add a comma
,Nevertheless
foods
that contain a lot of carbohydrates such
as cakes, chocolate breads
and Change the wording
bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
high quality
chocolates are not preferable by most Add a hyphen
high-quality
of
Change preposition
apply
people
, it is because of the high charge. So Add an article
the people
people
will tend to buy the other meals that having
Change the form of the verb
have
good
appearance but with Correct article usage
a good
more
thrifty Add an article
a more
price
like sweet potatoes.
To sum up, I strongly believe that increasing the price of fattening Fix the agreement mistake
prices
foods
can be affected in reducing the consumption of this kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
foods
, particularly for those who have Fix the agreement mistake
food
limited
budget and Add an article
a limited
not
aware Add a missing verb
are not
with
their wellness.Change preposition
of
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite