In many cities around the world pollution level have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effect does this have?

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In recent years, rising pollution levels in urban areas have become a major global concern.
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essay argues the main causes of
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trend are the rise of private vehicle consumption and rapid industrialization.
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, those factors have a negative effect on health and environmental circumstances. One key reason cities become more polluted is the increasing use of private cars or motorcycles. Overpopulation and lack of public transportation have pushed people to use private vehicles for convenience.
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, car sale in Jakarta continues to rise each year, driven by population growth and increasing people’s disposable income. Public transportation systems often fail to connect each area efficiently, leading to high dependence on private transportation. Another key issue is
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expansion of industries that rely on non-renewable energy sources. Many factories burn fossil fuels
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as coal or diesel, releasing a large quantity of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. These factors have serious implications for human health and the environment. Poor air quality contributes to an increase in respiratory issues
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as asthma and bronchitis.
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, sales of face
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have surged in many cities as people try to protect themselves from dusk or smoke. For the environmental aspect, high levels of emissions contribute to global warming, leading to the melting of glaciers and rising sea levels.
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can reduce the biodiversity of animals and plants. In conclusion, rising pollution is the impact of a growing population and industry. It triggers to raising of vehicle use and reliance on fossil fuel. These developments have a significant impact on both health and the environment.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your points, especially regarding the impact of pollution on health and the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines the main causes of pollution and provides relevant examples, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is solid, with clear paragraphs that address different facets of the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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