In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work

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A part of

people

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works better than others in different spheres of life. There are some reasons of

this

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phenomenon. Partly it is going from the competition in our lives. In my view it is happening mostly

due to

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motivation, which can be various: money or career growth.

Firstly

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, hard

work

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can make life better. Let’s take an ordinary high school student as an example. Everything start from our studying time. From childhood, we are taught that

people

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must study hard in order to get a good job and live in abundance.

As a result

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, after hard

work

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in school,

then

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in university,

this

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student will have the necessary skills to land your dream job that will lead him later to a life in good conditions.

In addition

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, there are disadvantages in hard

work

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For example

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, our health. Working too hard, no matter where, in education or in employment, can cause huge damage to our health

due to

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pressure from other

people

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. The consequences of

this

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lifestyle: sleep disturbances, headaches and muscle pain, palpitations, weakness, depression, poor resistance to infections. If develop

this

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idea

further

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, it will be able to see a huge problem with socialization. If

people

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are always studying hard or working for a long time, they will not have a good relationship with others. To summarize, it is evident that hard

work

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allows

people

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to achieve their career goals and earn more money.

However

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, in my opinion, working hard, neglecting one's health and family is never a risk worth taking.

Submitted by rizamaliqyzy on Sun Jan 15 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that they are relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Connect your ideas and paragraphs more cohesively.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to convey your ideas more precisely. Use a wider variety of words and expressions.

grammatical range

Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence structures and review grammar rules for more precision.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Your opinion

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them. Do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should they be allowed ?

1.Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?