In some countries, the government pays for health care. In others, the individual must pay for their own health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each system.
Health
is vital for everyone. When one is sick, he/ she needs to use the health
services. There are widely differing views on the issue of whether the government
should be responsible for the public cost or not. In this
essay, I will explore the pros and cons of each system.
Living standards can be secured if the policy maker pay
for its citizens' Change the verb form
pays
healthcare
. It is an undeniable the
fact that the cost of Correct article usage
apply
healthcare
services is sky-high. Healthcare
expenses are financial burdens to less wealthy families. While
the minium
wage in Hong Kong is $40 per hour, it requires a patient to work for a minimum of 12 hours in order to afford to get Correct your spelling
minimum
cure
for simple illnesses, like Add an article
a cure
the cure
cold
. Imagine for those who are suffering from serious Fix the agreement mistake
colds
sickness
, Change the noun form
sicknesses
such
as cancers
, the financial burden will be put on them will be enormous, even Fix the agreement mistake
cancer
to
Change preposition
for
middle class
families. If the medical expenses can be Add a hyphen
middle-class
transfered
to the Correct your spelling
transferred
government
, it is their citizens who can be beneficial
most.
Wrong verb form
benefit
However
, noticed that the government
's assets come from taxation, the government
tends to impose higher taxes to
the wealthy ones, in Change preposition
on
this
case
businesses when Add the comma(s)
case,
the
Remove the article
apply
its
expenditure goes up. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a result
, even though the government
takes the
Correct article usage
apply
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
of
its people's Change preposition
for
health
, the bills are
always Verb problem
apply
ended
up to Wrong verb form
end
the
affluent businesses. Correct article usage
apply
Cocurrently
, Correct your spelling
Currently
health care
fraud and abuse might occur when individuals do not need to pay for the services which Correct your spelling
healthcare
also
resulting
in a Wrong verb form
results
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
on
tax.
By way of conclusion, the drawbacks of having Change preposition
in
government
Correct article usage
the government
covers
all of the public's Change the verb form
cover
healthcare
expenses, in my opinion, outweight
the ones Correct your spelling
outweigh
that
of individuals. In order to alleviate the problems, Correct pronoun usage
apply
instead
of the government
covering the fees, I believe that subsidy
is a better solution.Correct article usage
a subsidy
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your argument is clear and consistent throughout the essay. For instance, your conclusion seems to weigh the option of government-funded healthcare less favorably, but it can be made more balanced by earlier establishing points against it.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective but could include a clearer thesis statement. A thesis statement should outline your main arguments and stance concisely.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the disadvantages for individuals paying for their healthcare. You have mentioned the high costs effectively but consider discussing the broader implications, such as limited access to healthcare and potential health disparities.
task achievement
Your essay could be improved by backing up each point with more detailed examples or additional evidence. This provides stronger support for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on providing clear and organized paragraphs, where each one introduces a single idea with supporting details. This can enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the issue, presenting a balanced view of the pros and cons of government-funded healthcare and individually funded healthcare.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, summarizing the topic effectively.
task achievement
Relevant examples like the cost of healthcare in Hong Kong illustrate your points effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...