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Band 3

Many children have become habit to about excessive mobile application day and night Why do you think this is so ? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further?

#children #habit #application #night #parents #situation
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days huge number of
children
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 mobile phones because, gain knowledge from the
internet
 as well as they, learning things from mobiles, as, parents understand to our
children
 not used the wrong mobiles In
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 world most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people and
children
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones,
who
Correct word choice
and
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seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 things
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 youtube and other social sites as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they study
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 in
this
 era.
example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
, I m in fifteen
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 not good in
English
Correct article usage
the English
show examples
 language and I m usually
usage
 of
internet
 whom very good benefits to me and after 2to 3months rarely I m working hard for English language and achieve my goal and very good understanding because of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
Moreover
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 request
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents to
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 with our
children
 and learn the
usage
 of technology
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 we understand
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
children
 technology is very helpful in our life,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 are not bad
usage
 mobile
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
, example in
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 found a survey
most
Correct word choice
that most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 bad
usage
 mobiles like they taking to stranger person who going to crime way it is not good to all the persons and parents teach us better and
children
succes
Correct your spelling
success
 and good
usage
 technology like
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. In conclusion most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people working hard and learn
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the
internet
 and
succes
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life. On the other side, some people
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to crime way
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our world.
Submitted by mahasingh1154 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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