IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
In recent years, the association has become one of the greatest assets to develop a region or even a country. Young people, which are considered to have more free
time
, are suggested to join and work in their leisure
time
. I strongly believe that contributing to society may emerge hidden potential of youngsters, still focusing on studies is always a priority.
To begin
 with, teenagers nowadays have numerous access to social media and technology which led them to have more references to create an improvement. Compared to the elder generation that runs a society by experiment, youngster tends to do work by research
first
 and it may deliver the outcome better. On
this
 occasion, youngsters usually search for frameworks or innovations to improve a certain group.
Furthermore
, contributing to social groups can boost leadership, communication and negotiation skill, which will be needed in future jobs. The organization’s dynamic makes the member mature faster
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since there are a lot of deliciated problems that need to be solved and objectives to be accomplished. Diving into
this
 kind of occasion helps them to grow faster.
On the contrary
, spending a lot of
time
 in the community will affect the study
time
 of teenagers. Since some organization has tight event schedule, the responsibility to attend the event will disturb youngsters’ personal
time
. Escaping from
this
 was not easy due to the strong bond of members. It can say that the more contributions the more members should spend
time
 in the association.
Moreover
, leisure hours can be used to learn other skills
besides
 soft skills,
such
 as computation, coding or music. Because not all people need to develop their community skills, it is fine if they learn another competency. All in all, joining a non-profit organization have several benefits, like personal and community development,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 youngster should focus on their main priority which is formal study.
Submitted by fransprisyafada on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: