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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays, many families tend to teach their
children
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 a foreign
language
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. Some specialists think that learning a different
language
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 in primary school is better than in secondary school.
However
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, there are some upsides and downsides to
this
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. In my opinion, the merits of teaching a foreign
language
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 in primary school outweigh its demerits. Learning a foreign
language
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 can yield several disadvantages.
Firstly
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, the acquisition process increases stress on
children
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 at that age.
Secondly
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, some of them cannot balance their foreign
language
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 with others, which impacts their mother tongue.
For example
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, some young
children
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 may be confused by two-letter words in a second
language
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.
Lastly
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, learning a new
language
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 could lead to a lack of focus on core subjects
such
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 as math and science, which leads to a drop in their level.
In contrast
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, the positive aspects of teaching additional languages cannot be overlooked.
Children
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 at an early age can understand a new
language
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 easily because at
this
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 age their minds are fixability and have the ability to learn different languages
also
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 able to improve critical thinking.
Additionally
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, learning a second
language
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 could increase the opportunity to pursue
further
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 study
as well as
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 broaden one’s horizon, creating a wholesome worldview.
Moreover
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, global companies have competitive jobs that need employees fluent in English, making them better candidates to get these jobs. In conclusion,
while
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 picking up a new foreign
language
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 at the elementary level does present certain downsides, I believe that its benefits outweigh these drawbacks, which are related to their academic performance and professional futures.

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task response
Make your view clear in the intro and end, and restate it. Keep to one main view.
task response
Add more clear examples for each key idea. Show how language helps a child or makes it hard.
coherence
Use simple link words to join parts. Make each paragraph have one main idea.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph and finish with a short wrap up.
task response
The essay shows a clear view that learning in primary school can be good.
structure
There is a good form with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
The writer tries to see good and bad points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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