some people argue that FGM is wrong while other think it should not bother other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to World Health Organisation, one in 10
women
in Tanzania is circumcised.
This
indicator might have fallen during the years in which the non-governmental and activist organisations have fought for the health and well-being of
women
. Despite
this
act, the severe ritual of female cutting is still persisting in areas like Singida, Dodoma and Arusha, meaning that
this
method is still
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
in rural areas.
This
practice
is a great threat to young
women
and children as it may lead to severe health problems. As WHO suggests
this
practice
is culturally entrenched, which means it holds roots deeper than imaginable, and the battle for ending
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
FGM is still ahead. By raising awareness
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
global issues we might
conitrbute
Correct your spelling
contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
abolishing
this
horrible
practice
.
This
vacancy gives me, a person, who is located far away from
this
dreadful
practice
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
chance to aid and help
women
and young girls just like myself avoid
this
terrible fate. I don't exactly remember when I
first
came to know about
this
ritual, maybe I was sixteen graduating from school and not getting any idea how could someone go through
this
horrid experience. But now, I am
Master
Correct article usage
a Master
show examples
of my own social science, and I know that with my limited experience and
knowledge
Add a comma
,knowledge
show examples
I can engage in
this
activity and help as much as I can.
Submitted by rizamaliqyzy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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