some people argue that FGM is wrong while other think it should not bother other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to World Health Organisation, one in 10
women
Use synonyms
in Tanzania is circumcised.
This
Linking Words
indicator might have fallen during the years in which the non-governmental and activist organisations have fought for the health and well-being of
women
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. Despite
this
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act, the severe ritual of female cutting is still persisting in areas like Singida, Dodoma and Arusha, meaning that
this
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method is still
practiced
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practised
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in rural areas.
This
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practice
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is a great threat to young
women
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and children as it may lead to severe health problems. As WHO suggests
this
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practice
Use synonyms
is culturally entrenched, which means it holds roots deeper than imaginable, and the battle for ending
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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FGM is still ahead. By raising awareness
one
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of one
show examples
of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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global issues we might
conitrbute
Correct your spelling
contribute
in
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to
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abolishing
this
Linking Words
horrible
practice
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.
This
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vacancy gives me, a person, who is located far away from
this
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dreadful
practice
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,
Correct article usage
a
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chance to aid and help
women
Use synonyms
and young girls just like myself avoid
this
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terrible fate. I don't exactly remember when I
first
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came to know about
this
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ritual, maybe I was sixteen graduating from school and not getting any idea how could someone go through
this
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horrid experience. But now, I am
Master
Correct article usage
a Master
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of my own social science, and I know that with my limited experience and
knowledge
Add a comma
,knowledge
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I can engage in
this
Linking Words
activity and help as much as I can.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: