Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? what do you think are the main causes of this problem abd what measures could be taken to solve it ?
The scheme of allocating money is a
hotly-debated
topic in modern life. Several societies have a notion that keeping the budget in a bank is preferable, meanwhile, others say that we should use it when it exists in our wallet. Correct your spelling
hotly debated
This
essay shall elucidate those paradigms and peddle up the reason why the first contention is more valuable than the last
option.
To begin
with, there are numerous benefits when our fund is kept in a financial institution. To exemplify, our bill will be saved in exceptional protection because numerous banks have good security systems like professional personnel, the steel branch, etc. Consequently
, we shall keep away from the risks, namely our money will be stolen or the disaster which will corrode it. Furthermore
, we will gain profits from the banking office every annual period because our funds will be exerted on economic activities. As an output, the banking institution will give us earlier profit because we have given trusts.
Nevertheless
, using our budget when it is available has positive points. For example
, when my favourite singer announced that he will
make a concert, I should spend my capital on the tickets. Wrong verb form
would
As a result
, the happiness feeling will increase because my desires have been accommodated. Moreover
, this
choice makes us learn how to distribute the allocation cost for the priority business, that being the case, we might have an understanding of financial management.
In conclusion, keeping capital in the finance house is a better determination than filling our interests when there is a huge number in our finance account. Although
, we shall achieve happiness and the art of using a budget, however
, saving pay might obliterate negative potencies like catastrophes which shall destruct
our costs or a thief who wants to steal it. Verb problem
destroy
Then
, we are able to acquire the profits from the bank.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task response
The essay only partially addresses the task. It discusses the two sides of the argument but does not provide a balanced analysis of the issue. The ideas are not clearly presented, and there is a need to develop each point with more specific examples and analysis.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is partially maintained but there are issues with the transition between paragraphs and the overall coherence of the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more clearly related to the rest of the essay. The use of examples is relevant but needs to be developed and connected more effectively to support the main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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