Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
some
people
argue that to enjoy a hobby, you need to do a hard one. this
essay totally disagrees with this
statement because, for one, people
are already under enough pressure with their work
; therefore
, hobbies
should not be arduous as well. Secondly
, excessively demanding hobbies
are more likely to discourage people
from developing their skills.
On the one hand, hobbies
should provide an opportunity for people
to enjoy their spare time; therefore
, should not be so demanding to follow. Since, nowadays, due to
financial problems, people
have to work
extra time to provide a minimum quality of life, they mostly look for easy activities
, which can take their minds off their daily stress. For example
, if individuals engage in challenging activities
, the levels of their energy will dramatically drop; subsequently
, they are less likely to concentrate on their professions.
On the other hand
, tough activities
may lower people
's encouragement. That is
to say that when individuals find themselves, not able to solve a puzzle or master a hobby because of its high level of difficulty, the expectations of themselves will drop. Consequently
, instead
of getting more energized, they lose their hope and motivation to concentrate on their work
. For instance
, if the running instructors take the first and beginner levels of running, hard on people
, they will lose their interest in perpetuating that field.
In conclusion, I disagree that difficult hobbies
give more fulfillment
to Change the spelling
fulfilment
people
. Quite the contrary, i
believe that easier and more achievable Change the capitalization
I
activities
would boost individuals' confidence and concentration to get back on their work
track and responsibilities.Submitted by fati.p98n on
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sentence structure
Work on improving the variety and complexity of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
formal tone
Ensure consistent use of formal academic language; avoid contractions such as 'i' and instead write 'I'.
content expansion
Address potential counterarguments briefly to make the essay more balanced and comprehensive.
structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, providing a complete frame for the essay's argument.
content support
Main points are well-supported with specific and relevant examples, enhancing the argument's effectiveness.
flow
The essay avoids repetition and maintains a good flow of ideas, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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