Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
some
people
argue that to enjoy a hobby, you need to do a hard one. this
essay totally disagrees with this
statement because, for one, people
are already under enough pressure with their work
; therefore
, hobbies
should not be arduous as well. Secondly
, excessively demanding hobbies
are more likely to discourage people
from developing their skills.
On the one hand, hobbies
should provide an opportunity for people
to enjoy their spare time; therefore
, should not be so demanding to follow. Since, nowadays, due to
financial problems, people
have to work
extra time to provide a minimum quality of life, they mostly look for easy activities
, which can take their minds off their daily stress. For example
, if individuals engage in challenging activities
, the levels of their energy will dramatically drop; subsequently
, they are less likely to concentrate on their professions.
On the other hand
, tough activities
may lower people
's encouragement. That is
to say that when individuals find themselves, not able to solve a puzzle or master a hobby because of its high level of difficulty, the expectations of themselves will drop. Consequently
, instead
of getting more energized, they lose their hope and motivation to concentrate on their work
. For instance
, if the running instructors take the first and beginner levels of running, hard on people
, they will lose their interest in perpetuating that field.
In conclusion, I disagree that difficult hobbies
give more fulfillment
to Change the spelling
fulfilment
people
. Quite the contrary, i
believe that easier and more achievable Change the capitalization
I
activities
would boost individuals' confidence and concentration to get back on their work
track and responsibilities.Submitted by fati.p98n on
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sentence structure
Work on improving the variety and complexity of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
formal tone
Ensure consistent use of formal academic language; avoid contractions such as 'i' and instead write 'I'.
content expansion
Address potential counterarguments briefly to make the essay more balanced and comprehensive.
structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, providing a complete frame for the essay's argument.
content support
Main points are well-supported with specific and relevant examples, enhancing the argument's effectiveness.
flow
The essay avoids repetition and maintains a good flow of ideas, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
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