IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

#people #celebrities #sports #movies #support #point
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In recent times, all the
artist
Use synonyms
 in the world is role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 for all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 for the youth. I believe it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 good
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers in their social life. it is true that the programme tv and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media are showing all the activities of the influencer every single day.
As a result
Linking Words
, it has
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people who
following
Change the form of the verb
follow
show examples
 it.
For instance
Linking Words
, Arhan Pratama is one of the best player
football
Change preposition
in football
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 in Indonesia. He always shares his activity
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
such
Linking Words
 as when he is playing and learning the strategies during the match. due to his activity, all the fans who see it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will get some
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
 to do the same things and
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle.
In addition
Linking Words
, some channels tv have a good programme
such
Linking Words
 as a modelling stage.
This
Linking Words
 is an event showing all the
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 with their best clothes.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities teach how to do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good makeup so will make the
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 more cheerful. Not only the fashion
this
Linking Words
 event
also
Linking Words
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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 in a good way.
this
Linking Words
 programme has a big impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the youth because teaching them to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 look and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
atitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
altitude
 in every
situations
Change to a singular noun
situation
show examples
. In a nutshell, the
artist
Use synonyms
 is a key for all generations
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for the youth. The teenagers must
following
Change the verb form
follow
be following
show examples
 an
artist
Use synonyms
 which has a good personality. so, the community can get a lot of benefits
such
Linking Words
 as motivation to do some exercise and how to dress well in any
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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