IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that cell phone should be for personal use only others however feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #cell #phone #phones #work
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In
this
 modern era, mobile
phone
 become more common,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it is really dangerous in some ways, so
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,that we must be careful when using them.Some people believe that using a
cell
phone
 for
work
 is not suitable and make a
lot
 of problems.On the other ,hand some claim that to have a good business
cell
phone
 must be in your hand and used at your
work
 .
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 opinion, I will discuss both views because they may both have the same truth.
Firstly
, people who see
cell
phones
 as only for personal
use
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 really works for some professions,
such
 as doctors, nurses , teachers and a
lot
 of different jobs.
For example
. you can not call a doctor while he has a patient and he needs
fouce
Correct your spelling
force
focus
 and privacy.
Besides
 that, the doctor can not call the patient and give him drugs on a
cell
phone
, the patient should be in the clinic to see the doctor. In
this
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
cell
phone
use
 is not perfect and may cause a
lot
 of harm to
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
.
Secondly
, there are some jobs that need
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
use
 of
cell
phones
 their
work
 and if they do not
use
 them the business may not move forward.
For example
, call centres in big companies that need to call customers in their homes or
work
 to show them offers.In countries where they
use
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cell phones
a cell phone
show examples
cell
phones
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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,
work
 some studies prove that
workers
 become more productive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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show a
lot
 of achievement.Where
this
 rate fell down in the companies not allowing
workers
 to
use
cell
phones
.So
this
 should take advantage of more studies to allow
workers
 to
use
cell
phones
. To sum up, using
cell
phones
 should be allowed at
work
 for some
workers
 in particularly parents and students who
work
 part-time.,
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 it must be not long just several minutes.The government can make a contribution to the solution and support laws to benefit the worker and the owners.
Submitted by saeedra358 on

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