IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that cell phone should be for personal use only others however feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #cell #phone #phones #work
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 become more common,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 it is really dangerous in some ways, so
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,that we must be careful when using them.Some people believe that using a
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 is not suitable and make a
lot
Use synonyms
 of problems.On the other ,hand some claim that to have a good business
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 must be in your hand and used at your
work
Use synonyms
 .
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 opinion, I will discuss both views because they may both have the same truth.
Firstly
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, people who see
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 as only for personal
use
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 really works for some professions,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors, nurses , teachers and a
lot
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 of different jobs.
For example
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. you can not call a doctor while he has a patient and he needs
fouce
Correct your spelling
force
focus
 and privacy.
Besides
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 that, the doctor can not call the patient and give him drugs on a
cell
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phone
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, the patient should be in the clinic to see the doctor. In
this
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example
Add a comma
,example
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cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is not perfect and may cause a
lot
Use synonyms
 of harm to
business
Add an article
the business
a business
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.
Secondly
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, there are some jobs that need
a
Correct article usage
the
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use
Use synonyms
 of
cell
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phones
Use synonyms
 their
work
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 and if they do not
use
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 them the business may not move forward.
For example
Linking Words
, call centres in big companies that need to call customers in their homes or
work
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 to show them offers.In countries where they
use
Use synonyms
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cell phones
a cell phone
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cell
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phones
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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,
work
Use synonyms
 some studies prove that
workers
Use synonyms
 become more productive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
show a
lot
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 of achievement.Where
this
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 rate fell down in the companies not allowing
workers
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
phones
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.So
this
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 should take advantage of more studies to allow
workers
Use synonyms
 to
use
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cell
Use synonyms
phones
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. To sum up, using
cell
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phones
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 should be allowed at
work
Use synonyms
 for some
workers
Use synonyms
 in particularly parents and students who
work
Use synonyms
 part-time.,
Linking Words
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 it must be not long just several minutes.The government can make a contribution to the solution and support laws to benefit the worker and the owners.
Submitted by saeedra358 on

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