Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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For a long time, the world suffering from environmental problems and
when
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apply
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the time goes by it keeps getting worse and worse. Today, some people think the biggest
problem
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regarding the environment is the deprivation of some
plant
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and animal
species
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while
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others indicate there are more important problems which I
also
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definitely agree with.
This
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essay will discuss both sides. On one side, some of us believe that the loss of some
plant
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and animal
species
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is the main environmental
problem
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. They have good reasons
such
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as
imbalancing
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balancing
the ecosystem.
For instance
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, if cats cease to exist the mice will outnumber and may take over some small cities which can
also
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lead to some gravity diseases.
However
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,
although
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this
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problem
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is one the biggest among the others, I believe, is not the most important
problem
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that we have ever faced.
On the contrary
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, some people claim that there are more important environmental problems than the deprivation of some types of animals and plants
such
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as climate change. With the enormous rise in the world’s temperature, inevitable disasters like floods, fires, and storms happening more frequently. It concludes with tearing the homes and taking many lives.
Moreover
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, it
also
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causes the
species
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extinct.
For example
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, mucilage taking over our seas and oceans which is making the waters unliveable for aquatics.
Thus
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, it affects all living beings, not just specific
plant
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or animal
species
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. In conclusion, is the extinction of some animal and
plant
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species
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the most important environmental issue?
While
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some believe it is, others claim that there are more important ones. In my opinion, it is crucial to recognise that there are other pressing issues
such
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as climate change. By addressing environmental challenges effectively, we can ensure a sustainable and healthy planet for all living creatures.
Submitted by asik.melliss on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow but can be improved by better paragraph structuring and utilization of cohesive devices to lead the reader more smoothly through the points made. Make use of transition words and phrases to enhance the connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-formed, but the concluding paragraph would benefit from a stronger reiteration of the main points discussed throughout the essay, tying them back to the writer's opinion for a more impactful close.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a basic level of support for your main points. However, to improve, offer more detailed explanations and develop the ideas further. Additionally, try to incorporate a range of specific examples to substantiate your arguments, thus strengthening your position.
task achievement
The entirety of the prompt has been addressed in your response, which is good. However, the balance between discussing both views and giving your own opinion could be better managed. Ensure that equal attention is given to exploring each view before presenting your standpoint.
task achievement
Your ideas on the topic are clear, but they would benefit from deeper development and more comprehensive explanations. This would provide a more nuanced discussion of the issues and display your understanding of the complexities involved.
task achievement
While relevant examples are present, aim to include more specific and diverse instances to illustrate your points effectively. This will demonstrate your ability to connect theoretical arguments with real-world occurrences, adding credibility to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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