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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that governments should spend on new public buildings, such as libraries and museums, rather than renovating old buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #buildings #libraries #museums
Some people argue that government should allocate their budget to building new public
buildings
instead
 of renovating the old
buildings
. From my point of view, I completely agree with
this
 view for several reasons. There are several reasons why the authority should not spend money on renovating old public
buildings
. The
first
 reason is that it is not suitable to restore an old building in modern cities in the long term because the city needs modern and picturesque
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
such
 as high-rise
buildings
, and skyscrapers. Take Seoul in Korea as an example, most of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 building in
this
 city has an ultra-modern look, which makes Seoul more beautiful and more attractive. Another point is that reusing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old architecture takes more time than building
Add an article
a
show examples
new one because designers need to know clearly about the old
buildings
 in order to make a design of the building base on the old architecture. I believe that
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 budget should go to new
buildings
 because of several reasons. Chief among these is that new building is more durable because nowadays there are many
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 materials for construction
such
 as
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 form of concrete, and composite materials , which can increase the duration of
buildings
. The
second
 reason is that new architecture may enhance citizens’ satisfaction because when the government builds new public
buildings
, they can go for smart
buildings
, which can apply new technologies. These smart
buildings
 have breathtaking appearances and smart technology, which will make cities more modern and more attractive. In conclusion, there are many benefits to spending on new public
buildings
 in terms of duration, and satisfaction of inhabitants.
Submitted by totruonganspk on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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