In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet, and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #development

Nowadays, everyone is having

internet

connection.

Internet

Add an article

The Internet

show examples

makes it possible to speak to your friends by messenger or Facebook and do your groceries and clothes shopping online. Going in your car to work is

also

not necessary anymore, because

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

makes it possible for some jobs that you can work 100% from

home

. I believe

this

is not good for our society that

people

can do everything from

home

because

people

start to care less about others.

Firstly

, shopping from

home

is bad for small businesses in the town. If there are not enough customers the local stores will close their doors and not come back.

This

results in unemployment and empty building but

also

the social aspect that goes with shopping in

person

is gone. For, example the old lady who goes to the store not only for groceries but

also

for small talk. The small talk can be with the

person

behind the counter or the customers in the store.

Secondly

, always working from

home

give the

person

no connection with the company. Going to your job and speaking to your colleagues in

person

makes the job more personal.

This

is important,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

people

are more willing to change easily from companies.

Thirdly

, always staying at

home

gives

people

no awareness of what is happing outside the house. If

people

do not participate in society

then

everyone becomes lonely and more selfish. To make a better world you need to do that together and staying at

home

is not an option. In conclusion, the arrival of the

internet

is very useful but can not be replaced by communication face to face. To keep society going

people

need to be there in

person

Submitted by annemariebloemberg on Mon Jan 16 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet, and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative?

Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of the motorways and what solutions are there