IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion?

#societies #health #fitness #sports #diets #medicine #alternative #people #life
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Unquestionably,
health
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 is pivotal and invaluable.
People
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 might maintain their
health
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 through excessive sports, food
supplement
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supplements
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, and medicine. Another belief is that some
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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its
Change the word
a
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 method particularly normal life in their lifespan. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 latter notion, and my opinion will be discussed in
further
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 paragraphs with a sensible conclusion.
First
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 of all, there are several simple ways to be healthy in everyday life, including
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
might
Correct pronoun usage
who might
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 do not
strenuous
Add an article
a strenuous
show examples
 routine
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, all
people
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 might simply go jogging to take care of
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health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
.
For instance
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,
people
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 want to jog in the morning because the air is still fresh and the sunlight is rich in vitamins
both
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for both
show examples
 the skin and
body
Correct article usage
the body
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.
As a result
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,
this
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 activity could keep
people
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 healthy without doing severe exercises.
Furthermore
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, healthy food is well-consumed
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similarly
Change the word
similar
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 to food containing nutrition, vitamins, and protein. Having a simple lifestyle is workable
in
Change preposition
apply
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every day like
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
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 enough,
usually
Add a comma
,usually
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people
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 sleep about six to eight hours per day and eat regularly.
In other words
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,
people
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 must be balanced with their needs so that
people
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 have well-being in a normal lifestyle.
For example
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, some
people
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 have habitual
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 like breakfast and if
people
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 do not eat in the morning
then
Linking Words
 they will get sick.
As a result
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,
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet both equal and equitable ought to
good
Add a missing verb
be good
show examples
 and right so that
people
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 in the lifespan will lead to
healthy
Replace the word
health
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 and longevity. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
people
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 have to think more adequately about their
health
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,
neither
Correct pronoun usage
they neither
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 exercise regularly nor regulate their natural life.
However
Linking Words
, it will depend upon the
people
Use synonyms
’s mindsets and which view they favour.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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