Some people say that edcation should be the responsible of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themsevles . Dicuss both views , express your opinion .

The debate over whether
education
should be the
responsibility
of the
government
or the individual is multifaceted, reflecting differing views on societal roles and personal accountability. Proponents of
government
responsibility
argue that
education
is a public good essential for the development of a well-informed, capable populace. They assert that the
government
has the resources and infrastructure to provide universal access to quality
education
, ensuring that all
individuals
, regardless of their socio-economic background, have the opportunity to learn and succeed.
This
approach can reduce educational inequalities, support national development, and foster a more equitable society.
On the other hand
, some believe that
education
should be primarily an individual
responsibility
. They argue that personal initiative and motivation are crucial for educational success and that
individuals
should be accountable for their own learning.
This
perspective emphasizes self-reliance, encouraging people to seek out educational opportunities, invest in their own skills, and make the most of available resources. Proponents of
this
view believe that personal
responsibility
can drive
individuals
to excel and innovate, leading to greater
overall
progress. In my opinion,
education
should be a shared
responsibility
between the
government
and
individuals
. The
government
should ensure equitable access to high-quality
education
and provide support structures,
such
as funding and infrastructure, to address systemic barriers.
However
,
individuals
also
need to engage actively with their
education
, take initiative, and leverage available resources effectively. A collaborative approach can maximize educational outcomes and promote both individual and societal advancement.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay could be enhanced by providing more specific examples or case studies to illustrate key points. This would strengthen the arguments and provide more concrete evidence.
task achievement
Ensure to maintain the same level of clarity and comprehensiveness throughout the essay. While the ideas are clear and well-articulated, strive to keep the clarity consistent in all parts of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Focus on crafting smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. This will enhance the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, reflecting a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively linked, offering a clear structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, providing depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: