IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

“Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?”

#“many #people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
In recent decades, a number of individuals have argued that social media
websites
 are affecting negatively communities and human beings around the world. In my opinion,
although
 social media systems provide detrimental impacts ,especially on youngsters it undoubtedly allows
people
 to connect without geographical barriers. So, I strongly agree with the notion that
people
 should take advantage.
Firstly
, some
people
 have claimed that federations ought to keep social
websites
such
 as Facebook or Instagram since it enables numerous
people
 to maintain sustainable meetings or contacts regardless of distance.
For example
, international students who stay away from their own countries used to encounter challenging circumstances in contacting their parents, relatives and, friends in the past. Because of technological advancements
such
 as networking sites, it is able to sustain business meetings or interviews through online
websites
 even though there were social restrictions because of infectious diseases like Covid-19.
Thus
, it cannot be denied these
websites
 have brought huge positive impacts on our lives.
On the other hand
, social
websites
 have been detrimentally affecting children across the globe since they spend their free time watching short videos on
such
websites
instead
 of improving their physical or mental health. British council proves that as time goes by,
this
 situation leads students to have a recession of educational growth in primary or post-secondary schools.
Furthermore
, as adolescents are fragile to recognize information from
websites
 whether it is wrong or not, it will provide drawbacks to enhancing society and community in the future.
Thus
, the disadvantages of social media should be considered seriously. In conclusion, In my opinion, as long as governments or educational institutions are required to proper training programs for children to avoid them acquiring negative effects from the
websites
, I strongly advocate for the notion that the positive impacts of social networking sites should be taken for human beings.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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