IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. While others think it is a waste of money. What is your opinion on this?

#people #clothes #waste #money
Indeed, wearing trendy
clothes
 is plenty of like to do in our society, but some people see
this
 as spending
money
 lavishly. I agree with the idea of spending
money
 on fashionable
clothes
 as squandering
money
 but I would
also
 argue that it is important to keep ourselves updated in
this
 modern world by following ongoing trends. On the one hand, all individual should have their own freedom for spending their
money
 wherever they want, no one is allowed to stop them but
this
 is the only case for a person who is affluent. It is vital to keep themselves up to date with all the latest trends going on in society which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 marketed by big brands like Puma, Nike, and Adidas.
For example
, fans of celebrities and sportsmen want to wear the
clothes
 they wear, so, they can bear a striking resemblance to their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 role models.
Conversely
, it is
also
 prominent to spend our funding depending on a person's financial health. if a person is earning
money
 with which they can only afford the basic day-to-day requirements
then
 buying fancy
clothes
 will not be a good decision.
For instance
, an adult child from a deprived family, in which the father is working on daily wages and his son wants to wear modern
clothes
then
 it is a futile decision and complete waste of
money
. To sum up, I believe individuals can spend
money
 on buying trendy
clothes
then
 it should be their choice unless they are financially healthy,
otherwise
 it would be a
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of
money
.
Submitted by umerasamdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: