There are some people who believe that family members are very important in our life while other says that friends are more important .Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

While

many believe that relatives are more important than

friends

, others disagree and think the opposite. Personally, I prioritise family members first since they have been supporting me much longer than any of my

friends

have ever been. Nowadays, many are stating that they care very much about the people in their family rather than those in their friend groups for numerous reasons.

Firstly

, they have much more unforgettable history and memories with their parents, siblings, or children.

For instance

, notable moments like when their sister or brother were born, or stories of their own birth told many times by their mother and father.

Secondly

, family members have an unbreakable bond with each other. To put it simply, there is no way of getting rid of the same DNA shared by family members.

Nevertheless

, there are people who think that

friends

play a more impactful role in their lives. Some might not have a very healthy, even toxic relationship with their family.

For example

, those who are victims of abusive guardians in their childhood. Another reason is simply because they have built much stronger relations with their buddies. Maybe their

bestfriends

Correct your spelling

best friends

understand them better, accept their quirkiness, or even love them unconditionally. In conclusion, I agree with the view that family relations have bigger value in our lives compared to friendship because of essential factors

such

as historical memories and stronger bonds. Even so, it is

also

valid for some to feel like

friends

are more necessary to them.

Submitted by lidyaprmata on Tue Jul 09 2024

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task achievement

For a higher score in task response, elaborate more on your arguments. Provide additional reasons or examples to fully address both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, try using more cohesive devices and transition words to better connect your ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases like 'much stronger' and 'much more'. Using synonyms can improve cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

supported main points

The main points of both views are well-supported with relevant examples.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making the essay easy to follow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are some people who believe that family members are very important in our life while other says that friends are more important .Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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