Some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness, and academic world, others believe that some informations is too important or to valuable to share freely.

#people #shere #information #research #bussiness #world #informations

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several folks claim it’s better to reveal almost all information that extracts from scholars’ research, trades or academic pursuits in the

world

Use synonyms

. Whereas, the other percentage contends that some data is much more precious to be given without any cost. I give my vote in support of the

first

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belief. The following essay will elaborate on my reasons. On one hand, nowadays the speed of change in the

world

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is astonishing.

Also

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, the number of scholars’ research and academic investigation has increased significantly. The point is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their achievements can be published in scientific magazines. And it is recorded who is pioneering to discover an important factor, solve a question or tackle an issue.

For instance

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, during the covid-19 pandemic, scientific in all around the universe were looking to find a vaccine to save the

world

Use synonyms

finally

Linking Words

, these discoveries were released and we can readily access them.

Furthermore

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, sharing information can bring peace and will reduce nations’ conflict.

Therefore

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, if we want to have a more tranquil life, we’d better forget discrimination between nations and races.

On the other hand

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, there are several private companies that invest in some specific research. They employ professional and renowned scientists to bring them vast amounts of money.

For example

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, some pharmaceutical companies are looking for a formula which can keep people young and sell them at astronomically cost. So, if they be the only person who reaches it, they would have a lot of benefits. To sum up, it’s nations’ rivalry and some specific individual’s privilege

that is

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a great hinder to sharing cutting-edge findings.

otherwise

Linking Words

, the

world

Use synonyms

was a better place to live.

Submitted by eli.bakhshi on Tue Jan 17 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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