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It is important to consider that in recent years people have changed much. There are many people who think it has a great impact on human career, and others believe that it has no impact on it. So with the second option agree.

#years #people #impact #career #second #option
It is important to consider that in recent years
people
 have changed
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
. There are many
people
 who think it has a great impact on human
career
, and others believe that it has no impact on it. So with the
second
 option agree. One of the important moments for
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
career
 is
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experience. I mean, those who are studying at a well-known school or college probably will be more likely to get a job at competitive work than others who do not attend good schools. To illustrate
this
, in my current company managers refused all the summaries of
people
 who studied at some universities, even without inviting them to the
first
 interview. While in most cases, students are responsible for choosing a place where they will learn after graduating from high school, their parents can
also
 cooperate with them, consulting or tolerating them to good schools as they were children. Another important point to consider is the living conditions of successful workers. If the child is raised with the support of parents and has all the basic needs
such
 as food on the table or water in pipes,
such
 a child will probably have more chances to achieve higher
career
 positions than those who are not put in the same conditions. To illustrate
this
, most children in Brazil, raised only by
father
Correct pronoun usage
their father
show examples
 or mother, usually end up working
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 primary or low-paid positions. If these
people
 could focus only on the development of mind and ability, and,
for example
, would not have to work in their youth, they probably would have been much more likely to build a successful
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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