In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In many developing countries nowadays, the numbers illustrate the tendency of moving to urban so populations are declining in many countryside. That leads to more consequences than positives.
Firstly
, migration to cities is no longer strange to developing countries. Understandably, people always want to live in amenities. For villagers, the city is the nearest target. Let's take my country as an example, Rural residents moving from other provinces account for 3.38% of the urban population. Compared to the period 2004-2009, the proportion of migration flow from rural to urban
areas
increased (44.2% compared to 30.5%). Meanwhile, the proportion of migration flow from urban
areas
to rural
areas
decreased from 34.0% to 14.9%. In just over 5 years, the demonstration by number changed too much.
Next,
the significant influx of people coming from rural
areas
to major cities brings about countless negative impacts on not only individuals but
also
the government. Not everyone will be comfortable moving abroad,
not to mention
they will be away from friends and family. They have to go through a lot of new relationship pressure with several possible unpleasant experiences which may cause feelings of loneliness, instability, and homesickness. Depend on economically speaking, it greatly affects the use of labour and resource exploitation. In some places, there is a surplus
while
in some places, there is a shortage of labour. What’s more,
this
also
leads to causes many problems
such
as traffic congestion, wealth gap, theft, social evils....etc, putting more strains on cities and requiring the government to improve material facilities and increase more jobs. Another drawback
that is
worth noticing would be the phenomenon of brain drain.
Finally
,
this
is an unfavourable situation in the long term.
Therefore
, the government and each individual need to equip themselves with full awareness and willingness to overcome
this
unfortunate disparity.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Introduction Enhancement
Consider a more structured introduction that clearly states your stance on the topic from the very beginning.
Paragraph Organization
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the question with a distinct main idea.
Cohesion Improvement
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of your essay.
Conclusion Strengthening
Incorporate a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your view on the development being positive or negative.
Example Variety
Including more detailed and varied examples can help support your arguments more convincingly.
Content Insight
The essay explores important consequences of rural-to-urban migration and its impact on both individuals and society.
Task Response
You have addressed the task by discussing both the reasons for migration and its negative outcomes.
Detailed Support
Use of specific statistics and details to support your points shows good effort in giving credibility to your arguments.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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