IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historic objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
There is no doubt that the public can access artworks through computers.
Therefore
, it has been suggested that there is no need for
museums
 and
galleries
.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement. Admittedly,
people
 can appreciate a piece of artwork through a computer, whereas
people
 who visit offline
museums
 and
galleries
 can have a firsthand visiting involvement which engages more senses,
such
 an experience can leave visitors with a great impression of what they have visited and given them a better understanding of the historical artefact.
For example
, if you visited the Great Wall only via a computer, you would not sense the changing times through the faded colour and might not understand how hard it is to build up the heritage.
However
, if you visited the historical site yourself, you would have a firsthand understanding of what had been written in the books. While computers may help
people
 somehow gain a firsthand experience by using AI technology someday,
galleries
 and
museums
 can offer other benefits which are non-replaceable. The venues for appreciating artworks are not only for visiting purposes, the spaces can
also
 assist
people
 to meet others who share the same interest as them.
Moreover
, cultural heritages will be better preserved due to the charging of admission fees of
museums
 and
galleries
. In conclusion, based on the evidence analyzed, despite computers can somehow help
people
 who live in remote areas to see historical objects or artworks online, offline
galleries
 and
museums
 still attach great importance due to their benefits and should not suffer from disappearance.
Submitted by wly_yanwang on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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