IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills
Whether or not educating
parents
 to alleviate youthful crime rates is the optimum procedure is a highly debatable discussion point.
This
 writer advocates the statement owing to role
modeling
Change the spelling
modelling
show examples
 and nurture; the ideas will be elaborated
further
 in the following paragraphs. Perhaps, during puberty, adolescents are most affected by
parents
'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,  actions, and conceptions; henceforth, they are their children's first models. 
This
 developmental stage is marked by significant physical, emotional, and cognitive changes, making teenagers more sensitive to parental influence. Unless the
parents
 are a suitable model, the youth will experience stress, peer pressure, and social and family relationships
due to
 the high level of hostile parenting and low level of positive parenting problems.
Consequently
, positive and constructive parental involvement during
this
 critical period can lead to healthier, more responsible, and well-adjusted young adults.
According to
 the 2017 China Time Use Survey, the more time
parents
 spend with children, the higher their children's well-being will be. Another critical point to consider is that the teenager's cognitive ability
also
 contributes to their perception of facing a problem, which may lead to criminal activities. Adolescents with well-developed cognitive skills are better equipped to analyze situations, consider consequences, and make informed decisions.
This
 underscores the importance of nurturing environments that promote cognitive development through education, open communication, and problem-solving opportunities. By fostering these abilities,
parents
 and caregivers can help teenagers navigate difficulties more effectively and reduce the likelihood of turning to criminal activities as a solution. In essence,
parents
 are the most significant factor in minimizing the crimes committed by young people. With a good education, teenagers may be able to make their own lives appropriately and solve problems efficiently.
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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate further on the specific ways in which parents can be educated to handle different situations. This will make your argument more robust and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of your essay is solid, consider adding transitional phrases to further enhance the flow and coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay presents a strong and clear position on the topic, providing valid reasons to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main ideas of the essay, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
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