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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Many
people
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 believe that uniting
people
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 from different cultures and ages through
music
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 is a brilliant idea. It is true that I have experienced getting together with numerous
youths
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 from over a hundred countries under the
YMCA
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song
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 during the annual global gathering.
Also
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, singing a
song
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 is one healthy lifestyle of releasing
stress
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 as we notice that there are many karaokes all around the world.
Moreover
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,
music
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 is another way of ritual habit for Christians as worship. I believe that
music
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 unites
people
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 all together through unseen strings
YMCA
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 world is the most motivated and oldest movement for
youths
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 from 121 countries setting up local movements. Annually, youth representatives gather in a certain place to raise the voices of difficulties that we challenge.
Then
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, we are united to commit to working on the struggles to be solved in cooperation with other organizations
such
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 as the UN, WHO, and the world bank.
Therefore
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, you might wonder how
youths
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 of
YMCA
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 can accomplish worldwide to advocate for other
youths
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 in need. We are united together through the
YMCA
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 theme
song
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 which was composed in the 1970s.
Finally
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,
music
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 is a powerful tool to motivate
youths
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 to take an action for certain purposes. Singing a
song
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 is a healthy way to relieve the
stress
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 in your brain which was scientifically approved.
Therefore
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, there is karaoke on every single corner of the street. Karaoke is the best place to set your
stress
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 free meanwhile karaoke business makes a profit. In Christianity, worshipping is another way of ritual. Christians believe that worshipping means respecting God.
Otherwise
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, worshipping helps to relieve your burdens from your mentality. To sum up, I strongly agree that
music
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 gets
people
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 closer
people
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 even though we are different from each other ethnically and racially.
Also
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, I have experienced in my life how the theme
song
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 encouraged me to take an action as uniting with friends from other nationalities.
Then
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,
music
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 is the most enjoyable means of releasing your
stress
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 away by singing and giving honour to God by worshipping.
Submitted by sun_shine159 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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