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Band 3.5

Travelers and business people often come into contact other cultures briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so?

#travelers #business #people #contact #cultures
Some
people
such
 as
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and
business
people
 get in touch with other
countries
people
 and it directly
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
know about
the others culture
Change to a genitive case
the other's culture
the culture of the other
show examples
. That interaction reveals different benefits.
Initially
, we live in a big world and ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 we have lots of unknown places all over it. Some of us directly work with foreign
countries
. Each contact with the foreign
people
 of other
countries
 brings them a different aspect of local culture.
For instance
, in
business
 ,meetings
people
 talk about each other
countries
'
cultures
, habits and so on. Lots of
people
 pay an amount of
money
 to travel and learn about other
cultures
.
However
,
business
people
 just get
this
 information without any other effort. On the other ,hand travellers, who are well-known mostly doing it with sponsors or getting donations from their viewers, are on the positive side of
this
 discussion. They go to almost every country without paying no
money
besides
 they taste
countries
' famous dishes, stay with local
people
 and even demonstrate their life for a short time. A lot of
people
 need to spend a bunch of
money
 and time to learn
Change preposition
about
show examples
other human
cultures
 over the internet or in person,
although
 travellers can do it when it is possible.
As a result
, getting information about someone's country requires lots of time and
money
, but some the
people
such
 as travellers or
business
people
 who are related to foreign
countries
 have already changed
this
 situation to their advantage and directly learning
cultures
.
Submitted by zafer.kalkan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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