IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • say how important New Year is to people in your country • describe how New Year is celebrated in your country • explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country

#friend #college #project #year #countries #people #country #celebrations
My dear Sara, Hey Sara! It’s been a long time since we saw each other,
thus
, I am writing
this
 epistle regarding your college project,
thus
, I would help you and provide some information about how we celebrate the new year in Saudi Arabia.
Initially
, more people consider celebrating is an essential matter , especially, with family and friends.
Moreover
, they feet at the beginning of the year in several ways
such
 as watching the fireworks, booking a family restaurant, buying gifts and trying their best to have a good day. Honestly, my favourite part of
this
 day is the collection of all the members of my family at one table at the same time, because. that made me feel safe and happy.
Additionally
, the watching part of the memories, especially, short videos and random pictures. I hope I can add good information to your search, speak to you soon my besties , keep in touch! Yours Faithfully. Raheel
Submitted by x.ra5eelah on

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coherence and cohesion
In the first paragraph, avoid using 'thus' twice, as it can disrupt the flow. Consider rephrasing for smoother readability.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and correct punctuation usage to improve clarity. For example, 'because. that made me feel safe and happy' should be 'because that makes me feel safe and happy.'
task achievement
Try to expand on the specific traditions and cultural aspects more comprehensively to fully elaborate on the celebration.
task achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing information on the importance of New Year, how it is celebrated, and personal reflections on the celebrations.
task achievement
There is a clear and friendly tone throughout the letter, appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is well-organized with appropriate paragraphing, and each paragraph focuses on a specific point.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately friendly and personal, enhancing the natural flow of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant
  • reflection
  • goals
  • loved ones
  • fireworks
  • gatherings
  • traditions
  • public events
  • religious ceremonies
  • festive atmosphere
  • reconnect
  • exchanging gifts
  • resolutions
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