Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60,it could lead the problems

#people #work #age

These days, in our country,citizens are let to

work

after the

age

of 60. After

this

phenomenon, the majority of

people

believe that it may bring some issues. In

this

paper, I will argue that

this

phenomenon can impact youngster life . The reasons are twofold.

First

of all, if the government allow the working of older

people

that the

age

is 60.

This

thing may bring advantages for some workplaces .

For instance

, the hospital has a lot of young

doctors

. They do not enough aware of the medical field.

This

is the reason, hospitals need one person who has better knowledge and a lot of experience in the medical field. Because if young

doctors

must do the operation.

Then

they need to help. Because they should not kill sick

people

. So older

doctors

need theirs during operation mystery.

Then

young

doctors

will always do operations with older

doctors

. After that young

doctors

never do mistakes while their

work

On the other hand

, elderly

people

always

work

after their retirement can negatively affect our life . Because these days the government can not employe with

work

all

people

This

is the reason, elderly

people

should not

work

and rest their place in that job .

In addition

, elderly

people

can not be good like young.Because they do have not enough force for working and can not do everything at a young

age

For example

, one person works modern corporation. And

then

he or she is not aware of using computers or technology things. After

this

phenomenon, they can not

work

this

place . By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that working after the

age

of 60 can influence young

people

's future life.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Fri Jan 20 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60,it could lead the problems

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people believe it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.