IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter: Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

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Dear manager, Hello! I hope that you are having a nice day!
Firstly
Linking Words
, I want to thank you for providing me with an opportunity to do
work
Use synonyms
 experience. I really appreciated it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I would like to share my thoughts about what I would like to learn from the
work
Use synonyms
 experience. Hopefully, I wish I can learn teamwork skills,
such
Linking Words
 as effective communication skills with my manager and co-workers. Another thing I really want to develop is working as an individual in an organisation.
For example
Linking Words
, I hope that I can finish my
work
Use synonyms
 tasks on time and correctly accomplish daily
work
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, I have some questions about my position at your company. One question is that I wonder what tasks I will do when I am working at your firm. Another question is what my responsibilities are. I am surely hoping that I do not cause any inconvenience and looking forward to receiving your reply. Kind regards, Rose

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tone
Try to use a more formal tone in your greeting and closing. Instead of 'Hello! I hope that you are having a nice day!', consider 'Dear [Manager's Name], I hope this message finds you well.'
clarity
Clarify your statements about what you hope to learn. Instead of 'I really want to develop is working as an individual in an organisation,' you might say 'I hope to improve my ability to work independently and manage my tasks efficiently.'
engagement
In your closing sentence, you might want to express enthusiasm about the opportunity to enhance the positive tone. For example, 'I am excited about this opportunity and look forward to contributing to your team.'
strength
Your expression of gratitude is sincere and sets a positive tone for the letter.
strength
The structure of your letter is clear, with distinct paragraphs for different points you want to address.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • appreciative
  • hands-on experience
  • skill enhancement
  • networking opportunities
  • mentorship
  • organisational structure
  • company ethos
  • onboarding process
  • professional development
  • collaborative environment
  • shadowing
  • logistics
  • corporate attire
  • reporting hierarchy
  • team dynamics
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