IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today People are no longer active and fit as they use to be due to the nature of work nowadays, What are the causes of this? What solutions can you proffer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
people
Use synonyms
 lost activity according to prevalent office
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay aims to elaborate on the reasons why
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has occurred and I describe solutions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the aforementioned reasons are relative to developing our industry. These days, machines are working
instead
Linking Words
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in a variety industry. So, a lot of humans had lost the opportunity to move their
bodies
Use synonyms
 in society.
For example
Linking Words
, in agriculture, especially rice fields
work
Use synonyms
, we became to use a machine to plant rice
instead
Linking Words
 of humans hand.
In addition
Linking Words
, the demand for the production of the machine is increasing.
Hence
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 to develop new machines with computers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 lost their job by using their
bodies
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 avoiding
this
Linking Words
 situation
people
Use synonyms
 make their body exercise, it is essential to create opportunities to move their
bodies
Use synonyms
. Most adults, spend a lot of time at their
work
Use synonyms
, so if companies offer a time when employees have no choice but to exercise their
bodies
Use synonyms
, it is possible to protect workers' fitness. To illustrate, there are some companies to provide a customer with that if
people
Use synonyms
 walk a lot, can get some profits
such
Linking Words
 as a drink. It will useful for
people
Use synonyms
 to live a long time in the future. So when I become an employer, I will try it too. In conclusion, I reiterate that our society's developments take away an opportunity to move
people
Use synonyms
's
bodies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if I were an employer, I give profits to keep human fitness when my worker moved their body.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • inactive
  • fitness
  • workplace
  • technology-dependent
  • physical activity
  • fast-paced
  • stressful
  • unhealthy
  • eating habits
  • motivation
  • time constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: