Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

It is undeniable that
competition
is one of the motivations to increase enthusiasm for learning in
children
. Another belief is that teamwork is pivotal in their environment rather than
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
between
children
and
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
This
essay will compare and contrast both opinions, and my opinion, which is in favour of the latter view and will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. On the one hand,
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
competition
Change preposition
of competition
show examples
in
children
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
extraordinary because they have a dream high to be a winner and
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
in the future. In
this
circumstance, becoming a winner,
however
,
children
ought to study hard and practice respectively so that
children
get what they have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wanted.
For instance
, students have won
gold
Add an article
the gold
a gold
show examples
medal
Fix the agreement mistake
medals
show examples
in the English debate contest in England since 2020.
As a result
,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will become
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
show examples
in the school due to
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
achieved some rewards from their
competition
.
On the other hand
,
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
and social activities become beneficial for
children
.
In other words
,
children
might play, share, and discuss with their neighbourhood comfortably because they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good communication
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
other.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childhood should be enjoyed
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
an early age. Generally speaking, it does not mean
children
have to become
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
in order to be beneficial
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
,
however
, social and teamwork are better than
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
. As a sequence,
children
do not become introverted and unsocial. To sum up,
although
competition
is good for
children
as an effort to increase their morale and social awareness rather than competing like adults.
However
, it will depend upon the
children
’s mindset and which view they favour.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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