When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

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Many

people

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choose their careers based on the salary offered. Personally, I disagree with the idea that

money

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is the key consideration in choosing a

job

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, i believe that other considerations are just as important as financial incentives. On the one hand, I accept the idea who argue that

money

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is a fundamental reason for finding a desired

job

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, which is necessary to meet their basic needs.

For instance

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, individuals need a certain amount of salary to pay for their housing, food, bills, health care, and education. I believe that some work hard to look for some

money

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as a priority to cover these things, having a reasonable life

as a result

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. If

people

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choose their careers based on enjoyment or other non-financial reasons, they may find it difficult to support themselves in fulfilling their needs. Artists and musicians,

for example

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, are known as the ones who choose a career based on what they love, but it is not always provided with enough

money

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to live comfortably and make a family.

On the other hand

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, there are other key measures in choosing a

job

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which are just as crucial as financial factors.

Firstly

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, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are the most important thing.

For example

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, having a good manager and friendly colleagues is a happiness which can improve a good quality of life.

Moreover

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people

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's feeling of

job

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satisfaction comes from professional achievements, the skills they get and the position they reach, rather than the

money

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they earn.

Finally

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, the reason why some

people

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choose a career is because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society. In conclusion,

while

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some individuals consider the salary to be pivotal, I believe that other key factors like personal growth and professional environment, are equally important to be considered.

Submitted by mohamadazhariazar on Sun Aug 11 2024

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Grammar

Ensure that all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. For example, 'I accept the idea who argue...' should be 'I accept the idea of those who argue...'

Detail

Provide a more detailed explanation for each point you make. You explain well why money is important for some people, but the paragraph discussing other key considerations would benefit from further elaboration.

Coherence

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, use transitions like 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally,' to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Introduction and Conclusion

The essay has a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion, which neatly frame the argument.

Supporting Points

The main points are well-supported with examples, such as the discussion about artists and musicians.

Balance

The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument about salary versus other job considerations.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Opinion

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face-to-face. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?