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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this develoment outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #develoment
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Nowadays many young
people
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 leave their
houses
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 to
work
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 or
study
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 in another city. The main reason for it is that in the city the
education
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 is better than in villages. In
this
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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essay I’ll express my point of view about why young
people
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 migrate from their
houses
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.
Firstly
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, as I said the main reason is that in cities
education
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 and salary are better than in villages. But its disadvantage is that, if young
people
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 want to leave their homes in rural areas, they should
study
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 from 1-st grade as hard as they studied when they left their
houses
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, because, if
they’ll
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 not
study
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 as hard, when
they’ll
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 grow, they may pass in grant, but if
they’ll
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 not
study
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 as hard as it’ll be enough,
they’ll
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 pass to university with the contract, so they will need to
work
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,
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apply
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 because their parents will not pay them for
education
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, because they have no money. So, when they will start to
work
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,
they’ll
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 not think fully about
education
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,
they’ll
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 partially think about
work
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, public utilities and other things. So, leaving home in a rural area has advantages and disadvantages, the main disadvantage is that after young
people
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 leave the house
they’ll
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 need money, so mostly they will be waiters, but, to
work
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 waiter is not so profitable, so
they’ll
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 take a student
loan
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. But as most financially adequate
people
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 know, the
loan
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 has many disadvantages, because you’ll
work
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 maybe 2 years maybe 4 years to repay a
loan
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. ,
,
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apply
show examples
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
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 I want to mention that, the reason for migrating from
houses
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 is that, in ,cities
education
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 is much better, so it has
also
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 a big disadvantage, like a
loan
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 or independent life.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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