Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this develoment outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #develoment

Nowadays many young

people

leave their

houses

work

study

in another city. The main reason for it is that in the city the

education

is better than in villages. In

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

essay I’ll express my point of view about why young

people

migrate from their

houses

Firstly

, as I said the main reason is that in cities

education

and salary are better than in villages. But its disadvantage is that, if young

people

want to leave their homes in rural areas, they should

study

from 1-st grade as hard as they studied when they left their

houses

, because, if

they’ll

not

study

as hard, when

they’ll

grow, they may pass in grant, but if

they’ll

not

study

as hard as it’ll be enough,

they’ll

pass to university with the contract, so they will need to

work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because their parents will not pay them for

education

, because they have no money. So, when they will start to

work

they’ll

not think fully about

education

they’ll

partially think about

work

, public utilities and other things. So, leaving home in a rural area has advantages and disadvantages, the main disadvantage is that after young

people

leave the house

they’ll

need money, so mostly they will be waiters, but, to

work

waiter is not so profitable, so

they’ll

take a student

loan

. But as most financially adequate

people

know, the

loan

has many disadvantages, because you’ll

work

maybe 2 years maybe 4 years to repay a

loan

. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Finally

Add a comma

,Finally

show examples

I want to mention that, the reason for migrating from

houses

is that, in ,cities

education

is much better, so it has

also

a big disadvantage, like a

loan

or independent life.

Submitted by fnnurullaev on Fri Jan 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this develoment outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?