IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The growth of the online shopping will one day lead to the closure of shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this.

Online shopping practices have significantly increased over the past few decades
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while
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, while
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 there is a constant increase in new businesses emerging to compete in the online market. Will
this
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 trend lead to a closure of physical stores? In my opinion, yes, there is a very high possibility for it to happen any time soon.
This
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 essay will elaborate
further
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 on
this
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 thought.
To begin
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 with, especially during
this
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 pandemic situation, safety aspects are being given more importance.
For instance
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, a majority of the population
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 already switched to online shopping platforms in order to avoid visiting crowded places.
Therefore
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, if
this
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 trend persists, the number of stores in towns
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 likely to be shut down in the future.
In addition
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 to the above, another point to consider is the level of convenience and time-saving factor for shoppers.
For example
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, grocery shopping can be done within fifteen to twenty minutes and delivered to the doorstep if done online. Compared to long waiting hours at the billing
counters
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counters,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is extremely frustrating
and
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, and
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 their valuable time is at stake.
Thus
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, consumers would choose businesses that facilitate online buying
due to
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 its ease rather than visiting shops in cities
which
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, which
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 would eventually lead to a reduction in them
undoubtedly
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, undoubtedly
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 in the long run. In conclusion, it can be said that, if people continue to use these tech-savvy purchasing methods in the
future
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future,
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 there is a high possibility of an increase in the number of closing of
shops
Fix the agreement mistake
shop
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 and
stores
Fix the agreement mistake
store
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in
Check wording
closures in
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 towns and cities.

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content
Add a clear plan with three main ideas and explain each with at least one example.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together (First, Also, Then, However).
grammar
Check grammar, especially subject–verb form (for example, 'the number of stores in towns is' not 'are'), and break long sentences.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
structure
There is a simple start and end with a basic idea in each paragraph.
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