IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new homes. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #city #planners #spaces #plant #trees #focus #homes
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Nowadays,
the
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apply
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more people
lives
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live
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 in
the
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apply
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industrial
cities
then
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than
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 in rural
areas
.
Therefore
, there are a lot of issues considered by local
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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on
Change preposition
regarding
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 how to develop their
cities
. One of these questions is about whether city planners should
built
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build
be built
show examples
 more green space and plant trees in towns or
to
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apply
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build more new
houses
.
Although
,
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apply
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 the number of
houses
 and their affordability
are
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is
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 valid concerns, I strongly believe that the number of green
areas
 and parks are the problems we should focus our attention on. Building new
houses
 might be
seeing
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seen
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 as the main goal of every city or
a
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apply
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town. When a local government pay a lot of attention to construction dwellings they stimulate the supply of new ones and
therefore
 decrease their prices. Simply saying, the more
houses
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 has, the more affordable they are.
Moreover
, affordable prices strongly influence one of the
most poor
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poorest
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class
Change to a plural noun
classes
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 in every country - their students, especially from rural
areas
. It is not a secret that rental
payment
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payments
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 comprise a large proportion of total students’
spendings
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spending
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.
Consequently
, the lower the
houses
Change the noun form
house
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 price, the more people can afford
studying
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to study
show examples
. But despite these valid reasons, I think there are some other more important issues to
concern
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be concern
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 about,
such
 as pollution and people’s rest. Green
areas
 or parks in
cities
 are the ones of that places where citizens can take a rest after a long and hard day, or spend time with their friends and family. So arranging more green space provides
the
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a
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 better quality of citizen’s life.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, planting more trees makes
air
Add an article
the air
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 in
cities
 cleaner, because trees consume carbon dioxide and emit
oxigen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
, or simply
saing
Correct your spelling
saying
, produce fresh air, which is, in my opinion, a more essential option for us living in
cities
 today. To conclude,
although
houses
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housing
show examples
 affordability for different groups of our society is
the
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apply
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quite
significant
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a significant
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 issue, I believe that
an
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apply
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air quality and the number of parks where people can spend their spare time are much better for everybody.
Submitted by rioumine.a on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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