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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #food #population #import
Import and export of
foods
 is a basic procedure which each
country
 follows over the
last
 decades. Some people
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 that governments should put some
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to produce most
foods
 in their nation by importing a little
food
 from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
. I fully agree with
this
 phenomenon and the following essay
justify
Correct subject-verb agreement
justifies
show examples
 the point. To embark with, there are some significant reasons why I believe authorities should harvest
food
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first
 and foremost,
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 any government purchases
food
 substances from other nations, they must pay in
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
 currency like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 dollar.
In addition
, they may have to pay three times higher than
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 currency rate, which leads to unnecessary spending on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 item.
Moreover
,
this
 process affects the economy of the
country
 significantly;
however
, if governments grow
food
 and other
food
 ingredients in
homeland
Add an article
the homeland
show examples
, they can save a large amount of money, which can be utilized for various development of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Additionally
, harvesting and producing
food
 in the
country
 creates more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment.
For example
, more farmers, technical people, experts are required in
this
 whole process and which in turn
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment.
In addition
 to
this
,
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 can
also
 gain a benefit
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a tax amount
that is
 paid by new employees.
Hence
, To conclude, importing some
foods
 is indeed necessary
although
 I personally think that every
country
 should take some
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to
producing
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
 most
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
country
 that enhance
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth as well as increase
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
job vacancies for
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 especially farmers.
Submitted by bhartisharma1307 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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