In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #measures #counter #situation

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays in some ,

countries

Use synonyms

the traditional occasion is going to be extinction significantly. The reason for

this

Linking Words

position is that western practice is becoming more potent in undeveloped

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

Linking Words

However

Add the comma(s)

,However

show examples

Government administration and local communities should take some steps to promote their

culture

Use synonyms

. On the one hand

Add a comma

show examples

some undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

are following the western

culture

Use synonyms

from some modern well developed

countries

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

India most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

are celebrating Christmas

instead

Linking Words

they are not from that

culture

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

the celebration of some

festivals

Use synonyms

lohari

Correct your spelling

Johari

teej

Change the capitalization

Teej

show examples

Basantpanchmi

Correct word choice

and Basantpanchmi

show examples

are not becoming popular among

people

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, less knowledge about the

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

festivals

Use synonyms

and traditional

culture

Use synonyms

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

society.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

Nowadays

living

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

in cities in

nuclear

Add an article

the nuclear

a nuclear

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

without grandparents and both parents are employed so,in

this

Linking Words

case

Add the comma(s)

,case

show examples

children spend most of their time in daycare and school or with technology. Moral values are not

teaching

Wrong verb form

taught

show examples

by schools and technology.they can learn from home and families about their

culture

Use synonyms

and they

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

importance of

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

celebration

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrations

show examples

and

festivals

Use synonyms

. On

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand ,

people

Use synonyms

and governments must be participating in

this

Linking Words

situation to come up with some solutions

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

instance, governments should provide some books and education about their home

Use synonyms

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

in educational institutions. Whereas parents

also

Linking Words

have

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role to teach their children some moral principles and

cultures

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

festivals

Use synonyms

by celebrating with them at home or in society . In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay explains the major factors about

this

Linking Words

concerning situation and some of these measures we should apply to come out

frome

Correct your spelling

from

this

Linking Words

situation with positive results Because

Use synonyms

culture

Add an article

the culture

a culture

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

displaying the beauty of their nation all around the world.

Submitted by Jagmeetkaur575 on Sun Jan 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

traditional festivals
heritage
cultural identity
folklore
cultural tourism
intergenerational
homogenization
commercialization
intangible cultural heritage
community engagement
awareness
revitalize
cultural diversity
educational programs
governmental support
logistical support

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
A majority of people believe that men and women have distinctive personalities which results in there are jobs only suitable for one gender. This writer strongly disagrees with this statement.
7
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
These days the key source of income in many countries is international tourism which has numerous advantages while it can negatively influence native residents and the environment. In my opinion, the pros of this trend are more than its cons as it can increase job opportunities and give a better look to the cities.
7
band
People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.
These days, city dwellers are encountering an enormous number of issues in their daily lives. This essay will demonstrate some notable problems that people may face when living in urban areas and provide explanations as to why I believe that it is not an optimal option to encourage people to leave big cities.
7.5
band
The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The prevalence of traffic congestion and transportation challenges represents a significant concern in contemporary urban environments. Some proponents argue that encouraging individuals from suburban or rural regions to relocate to cities could effectively mitigate these issues. However, I contend that this approach may not offer the most viable solution. The following discourse will explore both perspectives.
5.5
band
Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Although women account for more than 50 per cent of the workforce in developed nations, a number of managerial positions are still occupied by men. Some believe that a certain proportion of these vacancies should be allocated to females. This essay, however, strongly disagrees with this statement because this can discourage qualified men to work hard, and such a policy can encourage organisations to find some wrong ways to outsmart the system.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that menand women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant.

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?