IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that governments in developing countries should introduce new technologies to people in order to improve the quality of life, while others believe that in order to achieve that governments should offer free education for all. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #countries #technologies #quality #life #offer #education
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The advancements in the field of
technology
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 have not only improved the standard of living in the world but
also
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 ignited various issues globally. It is often argued
by
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that
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 a substantial proportion of individuals opine that the administration should introduce new technologies in emergent nations to make a better higher standard of life.
However
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, others believe that authorities should give free
education
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views as far as I am in favour of the latter notion. To commence with,
due to
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 the easy accessibility of hyperspace, many residents are completing their work with the help of the
internet
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. Videlicet, the
internet
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 is extremely essential for toddlers and youngsters. Many natives are providing either online courses or good information cheaply as compared to educational institutions.
Therefore
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,
technology
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is
Verb problem
has
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 dramatically changed people's
life
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lives
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 because employers can effortlessly complete their work at home.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Indian authority revealed that more than two-fifths of adolescents and natives
are done
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do
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 their work on the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Thus
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,
technology
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is
Verb problem
has
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 changed
individual's
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individuals'
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and increased their standard of living.
In addition
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, the fact cannot be denied that schooling is more vital than automation because it
is providing
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provides
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 a piece of good information. Which is extremely helpful for juveniles.
For example
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, the
department
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Department
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 of
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education
Capitalize word
Education
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 in the USA revealed that more than one-fifth of the population is still uneducated.
Furthermore
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 when the governments are providing free pedagogy to adolescents and the community. They can effectively grow their economy as well standard of living.
As a result
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,
education
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 is more vital than
technology
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 or the
internet
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.
To conclude
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, unquestionably,
technology
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 is growing rapidly
due to
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 the easy accessibility of cyberspace but when all people acquire higher
education
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 they can easily grow their territory.
Submitted by lovishhhh on

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses both views and the writer's opinion is clearly expressed.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay by using more cohesive devices and structuring the ideas more logically.
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