Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to all
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the world is accessible and international tourism take place in one of the most profitable
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
some part of citizens think that it
is creates
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
tension rather than
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
the understanding
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultures
between people from various
countries
. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
different people and
accordingly
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
opinions
about
Change preposition
as
show examples
indicated
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
statement.
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
travelling around the world and learning
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
something new excellent way to grow up our
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and change to good side our outlook on life. I supported international
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
and want to
visited
Change the verb
visit
show examples
many
countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
I was not visited in the past, and if tourists from abroad came to Kazakhstan to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
I will happy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this
is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
opportunity to make good impressions and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about our
country
. Many people think that if different
cultures
encounter it will
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
started
Add the particle
tostarted
show examples
discuss
Replace the word
discussions
show examples
and
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
First
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
time it will be
dispute
Correct article usage
a dispute
show examples
and
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view
un
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
something but if both individuals will express
an opinions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an opinion
opinions
show examples
it should find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
point of agreement and mutual understanding
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
the two sides.
On the other hand
in many ways of communication
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
two
cultures
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Muslim and Christian
ends
Change the verb form
end
show examples
with misunderstanding and dispute. Because it is not normal in Muslim
countries
wearing
Change the verb form
to wear
show examples
short dresses and
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
alcohol in public places
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but in European
countries
it
normal
Add a missing verb
is normal
show examples
lifestyle
drinking
Replace the word
drink
show examples
ang
Correct your spelling
and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
drugs. When tourists from America or Australia visited
countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
adhere to strict traditions,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
do not understand it and will not want to visit in
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
time Muslim
country
. And I think that it
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to respect
faith
Add an article
the faith
show examples
of visiting
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
and before attendance
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
out and read on the Internet what is permissible and what is not in a particular
country
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
because it
needing
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to visit many
countries
in
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
work or by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
every person should to take only good and positive
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
from travel and from
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
show examples
of visiting
country
and trying to get on well with
habitants
Correct article usage
the habitants
show examples
at least until the end of the trip.
Submitted by argyn-34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: