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Band 4

Today people can work and live anywhere they want, because of the improvements in communicant technology and transport. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #improvements #communicant #technology #transport #development
In the modern
world
, People easier to contact others than before because of
Correct article usage
the improvement
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improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
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 in technology in any
sections
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section
show examples
such
 as
communication
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 or
transportation
and
Correct word choice
which
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 made them without
border
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borders
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. I strongly agree that
those development
Change the determiner
that development
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 really have
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 more than disadvantages.
Firstly
,
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
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 part had
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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innovation
Change to a plural noun
innovations
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 to produce
in
Change preposition
apply
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ever
Correct your spelling
every
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 because they had
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
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 ecosystem or smart platform, namely
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 application platform that we call IOS or Andriod with provide
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to any developer
initiate
Fix the infinitive
to initiate
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 their notion to a real product in platform with have many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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 to users and in the
currently
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currency
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 will
be have
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have
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camera
Add an article
a camera
the camera
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 with can provide them talk with other from across the
world
 by one click. Another example,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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solution
 devices to make their customers meet the special
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
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such
 as metaverse
with
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apply
show examples
developed by Meta company with
a
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an
show examples
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to their users do
a
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apply
show examples
roles play in
animation
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the animation
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world
 by VI
solution
. In the other section,
transportation
also
 had many
improvement
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improvements
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 as well. In the past, when people want to travel
to
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apply
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somewhere
with
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apply
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far from their position must take more time
in
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by
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 train or bus but
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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currently
Replace the word
currency
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, they have bullet
train
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trains
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 with have fast movement more than and can get them
to
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apply
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anywhere by
little
Correct quantifier usage
few
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 hours. And the other
think
Correct your spelling
thing
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 as I mentioned in
second
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the second
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 paragraph, the ticket or
transportation
 information
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 easier to get
them
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apply
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on
website
Add an article
the website
a website
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 or any application in the same way
with
Change preposition
as
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communication
. It can
summary
Replace the word
summarise
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 that
current
Correct article usage
the current
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world
have
Change the verb form
has
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many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 beneficial
product
Change to a plural noun
products
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 to support the
solution
 and meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
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user need. As in
transportation
 or
communication
 will have many
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 to choose more than and get
thwm
Correct your spelling
them
the
 better before.
Submitted by teerapatt.sk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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