Some people believe that children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #activities #time #pressure

While

it is a

commom

Correct your spelling

common

belief that

kids

should engage in

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, others argue that

children

should be

keept

Correct your spelling

kept

away from demanding duties.

This

essay will discuss both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

views and explain why I believe that

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

activities

should be part of

kids

' time off. Childhood is an important stage of

life

which must be fully experienced so that

children

can grow into healthy adults. The school holidays

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the perfect time to

excersice

Correct your spelling

exercise

this

experience since the

kids

can be free from any

responsabilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

and only play.

For example

, studies show that liberating

kids

who are up to age seven from duties can promote

Remove the article

apply

show examples

more complete brain development.

Therefore

, these

children

should be prevented from educational

activities

so that they can develop properly.

However

, not all learning experiences will pose pressure

Change preposition

show examples

children

Activities

such

as playing an instrument or

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

a sport can be educational and provide pleasure to

kids

In addition

to that, these hobbies could help young people to develop a sense of purpose

since

Change preposition

show examples

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

stages of

life

and eventually have a happy adulthood. Most adults with depression have not found yet their

life

purpose,

for instance

. If Adults

explorered

Correct your spelling

explored

their preferences and started finding a purpose

Change preposition

show examples

what they do from an early age, they would not struggle with mental health issues later. In conclusion,

children

's free time will have a profound impact on their adult

life

Although

protecting them from pressure is good for their brain, I think that it is important to allow the exploration of their interests by encouraging enjoyable educational

activities

. The more they know about themselves, the happier they will become.

Submitted by Layana on Tue Jan 24 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The importance of art lectures, such as drawing and painting, are equivalent to that of other subjects, on the development of a child, thereby, students in high schools should compulsorily learn them. This author shares the same view with this statement as skills enhancement, and good scores.

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

n increaring number of professionals, such as doctors and scientists, are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What Solutions can you suggest this situation?

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizen’s health rather than on protecting the environment.Do you agree or disagree?